Is it really that difficult to be a gay woman?

Lately I’ve been feeling like watching a good, romantic gay story and I’ve come across a lot of highly offensive, violent and S&Mish kind of movies. Why does it have to be so hard to make a nice love story between two women?

There is always a killer or an abusive partner/husband, now don’t get me wrong, there are some incredibly inspiring movies out there, however, the vast majority of movies with lesbian characters in them have some sort of a twisted plot and some are just soft porn in disguise – no story just crude sex.

Who are they targeting with such movies? Those movies are definitely NOT inspiring for women but rather disturbing. Of course, I’m pretty sure there are plenty of repressed women who have never had the courage to deal with their own homosexual impulses and maybe are still living a life of lies at home with their husband and kids but hey, we live in an era where in most Western countries same sex  love is no longer an issue.

I’m pretty sure, one day we won’t even need to call ourselves “names” because gender-based discrimination (including transgender and everything in between), will no longer exist.

Some of you at this stage might have asked themselves – Hey, why is she using the word homosexual for women as well? -. Well, pretty simple actually, the word homosexual means same sex (homo = same + sexual = sex). It’s really funny. if you think about it, how such a clear and non judgemental word has been misused, especially in the last few years.  There are many adjectives out there to describe a person’s sexual orientation but for female homosexuality there has been an exception.

Think about gay, straight, transgender and bisexual for example, those adjectives can be used for anyone independently from their gender but when you say lesbian then it has to be a woman. Well, I don’t like that, I’d rather call people “people” without having to discuss their sexual orientation or the gender they were born with.

It’s 2017, the world is changing, the human race is very likely to become legend unless they adjust their lifestyle and their approach to biodiversity.

It’s time to forget hatred and start a new life of love and respect for ALL. Let’s hold hands together and remember why we are here. Life is a miracle and love is a gift from Heaven, don’t let anyone bring you down for what you are because, as Lady Gaga once put it – God makes no mistakes – !

Here’s a list of what I believe to be truly inspiring gay movies for women, they are not in order of importance as I consider them equally worth watching:

Liberty’s Secret (USA, 2016)

A brilliant musical and comedy which deals with very sensitive issues. Excellent performance: bravo!

Elena Undone (USA, 2010)

A beautifully presented love story about two souls being magnetically attracted to each other. Spirituality and Love.

Blue is the Warmest Colour (France, 2013)

A journey of self discovery for a young girl who doesn’t really know what love and sex are about. Very artistic and realistic, brilliantly developed. The actors had to improvise while filming for most of the scenes. Outstanding performance by the two leading characters.

I can’t Think Straight (UK, 2008)

A very interesting and funny movie which deals with multi-cultural reality, religion and traditional beliefs in modern society

When Night is Falling (Canada , 1996)

This is a must watch for those who love art and romance with an insight on religion. I still believe it to be one of the best lesbian movies ever made.

Fingersmith (UK, 2005)

This is a masterpiece. The acting is impeccable and nothing really is what it seems.  Once you start watching this movie produced by the BBC, it would be virtually impossible to get away from the screen; it’s one of those stories where you need to know what’s going to happen next. Be prepared to cry and smile at the same time. Standing ovation!

Imagine Me and You (UK, Germany, 2006)

If you are looking for a heart lifter then this movie is for you. This movie is a comedy served with plenty of British sense of humor. The actors involved all do a great job but the best performance is dished out by the “husband” whose feelings are so realistic and believable that you can’t help but feel tremendously sorry for him.

Madchen in uniform (Germany/France, 1958) 

Life of girls in a boarding school in pre-world war II Germany. Adolescent love in a time of austerity of the heart where being gay is considered sinful. This is a remake of the original movie which came out in 1931. Outstanding interpretation by all the characters.

Aimee & Jaguar (Germany, 1999)

Can a Jewish woman fall in love with a German woman in nazi time in Germany? I’ve watched this movie more than three times because it is based on a true story.  It will break your heart into thousand pieces but it is definitely a must watch for those who want to understand history from a different perspective. Love knows no boundaries.

Fire (India, 1996)

I was living in Japan when this movie came out and I remember that it caused a lot of problems in India where extremists were setting cinemas on fire to stop its distribution. Luckily, that only contributed to an increase in its popularity, especially in the West. It is one of a series of movies by the brilliant director Deepa Metha who made a movie for the elements Water Earth and Fire and every element denounces something about the abuse of women and the girl child in India. Thanks to the courage of Deepa Metha and other people like her who speak up for human rights, India has changed very rapidly since then and certain cruelties are unthinkable of in modern days. A must watch to understand what some women have to go through to liberate themselves!

Eloise’s Lover   (Spain, 2009)

Teenage love and confusion. Cleverly done and developed. Very good acting by the young interpreters. It talks about the importance of developing one’s own identity even when anyone else opposes you or you’ll have to pay the tragic consequences.

The Perfume of Memory (Brazil, Oswaldo Montenegro’s film)

This movie can be a little disturbing emotionally because it forces people to face their deepest fears and challenge their beliefs. A masterpiece!

The Greatest Love (Thailand)

Two girls fall in love with each other and now it’s time to tell the family. Interesting approach to family values and homosexual love.

Yes or No (Thailand)

Cute movie about teenage first love. Female homosexuality is still considered a taboo in Thailand and this movie lightens up the subject by presenting highly likable characters with typical Thai sense of humor.

Fear of Water (UK, 2015)

This is a pure British movie and you get that not only by the accent but by witnessing some popular sites which still portraits the shadow of a past of nobility and good manners contrasted by the rising poverty and desperation in areas which are getting more and more degraded because of the large consumption of drugs and alcohol. What does a spoiled rich girl have in common with the daughter of an alcoholic and a man with a mutilated leg? Yet, destiny will bring them together. If you have ever been to the UK, this movie will make much more sense to you. The acting is very good and convincing in an atmosphere of  deep sorrow and desperation that more often than not get either drowned in addictions or suppressed by becoming totally aloof. It looks like a movie for the TV so don’t expect a masterpiece but it’s definitely worth watching.

Saving Face (USA, 2005)

This is a fantastic comedy which deals with the impact of modern society on traditional values. In this case, we have new generation Chinese, born and raised in America, versus previous generations who are still very keen on preserving their traditions. There are a lot of twists in the story so I won’t tell you anything no to spoil the movie but it is a must watch and you will enjoy it even more if you have a general understanding of Chinese culture. I don’t like making comparisons but it is on the same wave as The Joy Luck Club. The acting is impeccable!

Tipping the Velvet (UK, 2002)

It goes without saying that if the BBC is the producer, it’s bound to be good: and  it it is indeed an excellent piece of work. This is actually a TV miniseries based on the book by Sarah Waters. It will make you smile, laugh, cry and scream because it’s a very potent cocktail of emotions. The portrait of London in the 1890’s gives me the chill but apparently it was a great gate away for gay women of those times. Some scenes are actually too crude and violent for my taste but it all makes sense at the end of the story. A must watch!

Carol (USA, 2016)

This is an impossible love story in 1950s New York. Are people open minded enough to accept homosexual love? A woman dares to be herself in a society which obviously condemns homosexuality as a perversion. The costume, photography and clever camera shots in this movie are outstanding. It’s a work of art which reminded me of another gay movie titled A Single Man (USA, 2009).

The World Unseen (UK, 2007)

In South Africa apartheid times, it’s not just black people who get harassed by the sadistic white policemen but Indian too. There is more than a love story in this little piece of art and I won’t tell you anything else not to spoil it. It’s on the same vibe as Fried Green Tomatoes (USA, 1991). Sheeta Sheth is as beautiful and as convincing as in the movie I Can’t Think Straight (UK, 2008).

Nina’s Heavenly Delights (UK, 2006)

This film is a precious pearl which illustrates the perfect blending between two cultures: Indian and Scottish (you may say British but not, Scottish)! The story is hilarious and it encompasses a few culturally “unacceptable” loves served in garam masala and a lot of spicy curry! If you love food and having a laugh, this movie will bring up your spirit!

AWOL (Australia, 2016)

There are many facets to desperation: addiction, poverty and lack of hope. However, there is a beautiful young girl who thinks she can change all that. She’s very smart and attractive but really innocent in a world where everyone seems to have sold their soul long ago. Definitely worth watching but it’s a bit shocking… Excellent performance by the actors, realistic casting and perfect portraits of the locations.


The above are just a few of the movies worth watching if you are interested in female homosexual relationships. There are other good ones as well but unfortunately, I don’t remember the title.

I have just listed some Thai movies here but let’s say that the biggest surprise in terms of gay movies comes from non Western countries. India, Thailand, China and some countries in South America are making excellent TV series. The refreshing point is that they are creating high quality films with good acting and realistic cultural environment dealing with fundamental issues such as family and traditional values.  An outstanding example comes from an Indian independent group called Just Like That (JLT) with their web miniseries called The Other available on You Tube definitely a must watch!

I just can’t wait to watch more of those and hopefully the ugly b-rated movies whose sole purpose is to arouse the interest of a male audience will  eventually disappear for good!

If you know of any good movies worth watching, please leave a comment or just let us knows what you think.

Hasta la vista amigos!

BMC logoBuy me a fresh carrot juice!

 

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